Yield to the Abbot

Everyone roots for Robin Hood. Nobody remembers who he was actually robbing. It wasn't the Sheriff, the small-timer with a bad temper. It was the Abbot of St. Mary's, the man who ran the bank, held the gold, foreclosed on the peasants, and carved IN GOD WE TRUST over the vault door.

The original TradFi villain. The first "good bank." The template every centralized treasury has copied since.

So a brokerage names itself after the outlaw. Then it builds its own chain, runs the only sequencer, issues stock tokens from a Jersey shell that hand you a price feed and exactly zero ownership, and calls it giving power back to the people. The Abbot would weep with pride. He isn't fighting the system. He is the system.

$ABBOT doesn't pretend to be the hero. That's the joke. It's the villain everyone already funds anyway, mitre on, fist full of gold, daring you to look away. You yield to him every time you take a candle instead of a deed. Might as well get a coin out of it.